There are plenty of situations in every area of life where almost everything depends on how we communicate. Think of job interviews, company discussions, conflicts at home, or even raising children.
That’s why we’re devoting an entire module to communication at the soon-to-be-launched Guerrilla Mentor Club. And in this article, as a first step, I want to share some basics of win-win communication with you.
Any businessman with a great career will be asked, “ What’s the secret to success?” question is almost certain to be answered: you need to be able to communicate well! It’s not enough that you have a bombastic idea or you have a super understanding of something, you also need to be able to convince others of that.
Just a few situations where communication is key
- In a job interview – but in any exam situation – you need to be able to show that you are a good, fit for the job.
- In the workplace, you need to be able to say no, represent yourself and your ideas, and you need to learn to work with your co-workers.
- In your private life, you have to please yourself with the great Him, you have to conquer your future partner.
- Day by day, you need to understand yourself with your children, your narrower and wider environment.
- In a conflict, you need to be able to argue confidently, to clear up misunderstandings.
- And if a negotiation situation arises – e.g. you want to raise your salary – you need to learn to present your values and results convincingly.
There is still plenty to go on, one thing is for sure: effective communication can be a turning point in many cases and even the key to your career.
But what does it mean to communicate well?
Communicating well is all it takes to communicate assertively. Yes, but there are still a lot of misconceptions about self-assertion. These are good for nothing more than to constantly overwhelm yourself, and be dissatisfied and unhappy. Let’s look at just the 3 most common misconceptions!
Myth # 1 Communicating for yourself = being self-conscious.
Myth # 2 Communicate assertively = suppress the other, always win.
Myth # 3 Communicate assertively = either say yes or no.
In contrast, the reality is that self-advocacy is never a competition! To enforce your will, you don’t necessarily have to lose the other, in fact! Effective communication is practically a kind of balance , the point is to express your needs while taking into account the needs of the other.
So you can only bring something to the negotiating table if you know what your needs are, you know what you want, what you don’t want, and you can represent that.
Here’s a quick communication checklist!
Please think about your last work or private conversation in which you wanted to convince the other party of something! Can you put a checkmark behind these questions?
- Do I know what I want to achieve and what I don’t want to achieve? Am I aware of my purpose in the conversation?
- Did I make it clear to the other what I wanted?
- Did I just pay attention to myself or the other one?
- Do I claim or ask?
- Can I articulate, and recount the other’s specific needs?
- Do I see clearly what he is recommending to me? Did I match my own needs?
- Is there a condition under which I can accept your other offer?
If so, you can be sure that you are on the right track and you have every chance to end the “negotiation” with a win-win outcome. If not, then no problem, communication is one of the skill areas that can be super developed. Here, too, the only point is: don’t let your poorly functioning routines lead you.